Goodbye comfort zone...

I thought I would add a quick entry, as last night I was lying awake in bed, fretting about the journey.

Lately I have been a little stressed sorting out stuff, and have been thinking to myself "Is it really worth it?" Of course I remind myself it is, and think of how I had thought the same thing about my Australia trip.

I like to think of myself as someone who doesn't live within my comfort zone. I think if I did, I would never do anything. I guess I would be still living in Matira, hiding away from the world (- but then I would have had to learn to to kill sheep etc... so I wouldn't exactly be in my comfort zone... but I digress) Something I thought about last night was the fact that I had kinda got comfortable at Gilmours and hence why it has taken so long to get to Japan, but at the same time I have not moved to something "more comfortable" because I knew that if I did, I wouldn't leave.

The long weekend was nice. The weather was good, and I finished reading 2 books, climbed a hill (hence the photo), and had a little kayak in the surf. Didn't get to go to Rabbit Island (in the photo it is to the right of the mountain (Mt Maunganui) the "middle" island, not the one really far out) though, which was a disappointment, as it will be another year before I get the chance to.

On the way home we had tea with some of our old family friends. I had been nervous as their son had died in Japan about 6 years ago, so I wasn't sure how they would feel about me going to Japan. Afterwards I felt that they were encouraging and "giving their blessing" so that has made me feel a lot more comfortable about it all.

It is just over 3 weeks until I leave. Thats a daunting thought. I'm glad that I am finally feeling that I am doing something with my life [again] - using my potential. On a related note, having suffered ailments lately (namely gout, and having been put on medication for it permanently) I remember that I aren't getting younger. I recall as a child my father telling me that if I didn't have my heart operation (that I had when I was six) my body would have been worn out by the time I was 30. Naturally I have been reminded of that fact, with 26 looming, and 30 not too far behind it. I guess I am worried that I have wasted my youth (on education!) and all my dreams of becoming various things are going to be so much harder. That and the feeling my body is starting to fall apart (gout, grey hairs etc)