Another one bites the dust...
Sorry Richard - no offence meant by the title.
It was our supervisor's last night with us tonight. Every time someone leaves I feel so much older - like I am part of the fixtures at work. Considering I didn't intend to be there all that long, it seems like a life time. I just wish the Japan process would hurry up and happen. There has been a hiccup with my visa application, due to a bit that I interpreted the wrong way. Its OK, just adds stress and frustration. I am seriously wanting to finish at work. It is just driving me nuts. Im tired of (feeling like I'm) being treated like an idiot, despite my list of letters behind my name. Quite simply I just want to feel like I am making progress with my life. I want to be the guy people want to be like when they grow up... not the guy people feel sorry for.
A while ago I had made the goal of being in Japan before my birthday. It looks like that will happen - funny thing is I may be flying there on my birthday. It would be kind of sad - because I'd know it was my "special day" and yet noone else would, and the people I'd be travelling with would all be kind of sad too, leaving home for a year or more. On the positive side, I could say I left home for good on my 26th birthday, or that I left home at 13, and 26 (and 2 x 13 = 26). (for the less informed - I went to boarding school for high school, and moved back in with my parents at age 20, when they moved to town.)
That is another thought. I am looking forward to the independence, yet hope that it doesn't lead me into temptation. I will miss being part of my family home. The funny thing is, in the last year I am hardly here and awake when my parents are here and vice versa, due to working the night shift. I have enjoyed having my sister back in Hamilton for the last year too. It has been nice catching up on what we have missed out on. We have always been close, and most of you will know that. I feel a little bad that I have treated her like a captive audience - the friend I can rely on to be there and turn up when I need numbers to operate one of my schemes (eg the Outback feed last week) or the open ear. I hope Bevan doesn't mind too much.
On a positive note it finally feels like the old's are proud to know me. Everyone seems to be asking them about me, which is nice for a change. I just want the Japan thing to finalise itself, so I can stop living in fear that it will snag on something and not eventuate - and then I feel like a fool, and would have basically wasted a year and a half of my life.
Other random thoughts? I have decided that I can't understand the female mind - or should I say interpret the signals sent my way. Reviewing (thinking about) my experiences last night, I felt justified that I was confused. Some signals have been down-right confusing. One such example being the friend who signed my birthday card (for my 16th birthday of all things) Aphrodite. Turned out she just wanted to be friends. Enough said.
A cool idea I have had is to use another blog as a website of miscellanous things, such as Thomasisms (sayings), and speeches and dramas that I have written, (or Thomasterpieces LOL - thought that one up at work - after I stacked a pallet up nicely - a skill that tetris developed).If I do it that way, then the "diary" and the "other stuff" is kept seperate. Why have I bothered to write this? so I have a record of my idea. Nice.
It was our supervisor's last night with us tonight. Every time someone leaves I feel so much older - like I am part of the fixtures at work. Considering I didn't intend to be there all that long, it seems like a life time. I just wish the Japan process would hurry up and happen. There has been a hiccup with my visa application, due to a bit that I interpreted the wrong way. Its OK, just adds stress and frustration. I am seriously wanting to finish at work. It is just driving me nuts. Im tired of (feeling like I'm) being treated like an idiot, despite my list of letters behind my name. Quite simply I just want to feel like I am making progress with my life. I want to be the guy people want to be like when they grow up... not the guy people feel sorry for.
A while ago I had made the goal of being in Japan before my birthday. It looks like that will happen - funny thing is I may be flying there on my birthday. It would be kind of sad - because I'd know it was my "special day" and yet noone else would, and the people I'd be travelling with would all be kind of sad too, leaving home for a year or more. On the positive side, I could say I left home for good on my 26th birthday, or that I left home at 13, and 26 (and 2 x 13 = 26). (for the less informed - I went to boarding school for high school, and moved back in with my parents at age 20, when they moved to town.)
That is another thought. I am looking forward to the independence, yet hope that it doesn't lead me into temptation. I will miss being part of my family home. The funny thing is, in the last year I am hardly here and awake when my parents are here and vice versa, due to working the night shift. I have enjoyed having my sister back in Hamilton for the last year too. It has been nice catching up on what we have missed out on. We have always been close, and most of you will know that. I feel a little bad that I have treated her like a captive audience - the friend I can rely on to be there and turn up when I need numbers to operate one of my schemes (eg the Outback feed last week) or the open ear. I hope Bevan doesn't mind too much.
On a positive note it finally feels like the old's are proud to know me. Everyone seems to be asking them about me, which is nice for a change. I just want the Japan thing to finalise itself, so I can stop living in fear that it will snag on something and not eventuate - and then I feel like a fool, and would have basically wasted a year and a half of my life.
Other random thoughts? I have decided that I can't understand the female mind - or should I say interpret the signals sent my way. Reviewing (thinking about) my experiences last night, I felt justified that I was confused. Some signals have been down-right confusing. One such example being the friend who signed my birthday card (for my 16th birthday of all things) Aphrodite. Turned out she just wanted to be friends. Enough said.
A cool idea I have had is to use another blog as a website of miscellanous things, such as Thomasisms (sayings), and speeches and dramas that I have written, (or Thomasterpieces LOL - thought that one up at work - after I stacked a pallet up nicely - a skill that tetris developed).If I do it that way, then the "diary" and the "other stuff" is kept seperate. Why have I bothered to write this? so I have a record of my idea. Nice.
posted by J T at
7:49 pm
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